THANK YOU, SIS

- A post dedicated to my favourite "sister" -

One of my friend told me in one occassion that she think I have all the luck in the world relating to jobs and study. But....I have a very bad luck about relationship. That time, I could not agree more. Though I know every relationship has its own obstacles, my obstacles always tough ones (yes, I do admit that sometime I create the obstacle my self)

However, not until last saturday, when I pick up my phone and talk to someone, I never realized that actually all my bad luck is actually wiped off by the presence of someone I always consider my sister, R in my life. I just forgot that in many occassions she was the one who stood beside me, listened to my stories, pointed out what my possible mistakes are, suggested me some invaluable solutions.

" Gw gak gitu ngerti sih de'. Segitu salahnya kah tindakan gue. Maksud gue khan baik?"
" ya iya lah Bang. Gue juga kalo gitu sih gue tersinggung. Ya it means loe playing with feeling dong kalo gitu "
Well coz she is a girl. Ok, she is a woman now. So she help me to understand God's most unique creature a lot.

" Lah terus jadi gue setuju gitu, de?"
" Nih Bang, kata John Gray, sometimes a girl itu need sometime to discover her feelings. She does not know her feeling at the very instant"
Gile, sekarang udah pake quote dari buku segala. Yah, dulu mungkin experience gue agak di atas loe, cuma sih ya gue gak ada apa2nya. huhuh.

" Mm ya well ya the last experience tells me...."
" Bang, cerita benang kusut loe itu udah selesai. Tutup buku. Taro di lemari ato mana lah. Udah selesai. This is a brand new book"
Yap. Yap. heheh mungkin udah bosen ya de' gue maenan benang kusut terus kekekek? Insya Allah yang ini nggak. Doain aja gue cepet nyusul loe.

ANOTHER BIRTHDAY

- 21st October 2005 -

Jenk2: Makasih buat kadonya. Menyenangkan sekali ketika buka mata dan liat kado di sebelah gue. Langsung gue pake jenk..
Aki, Adhi, Larissa, Fiqa, Etu, Arrimurti, Tris, Wawa+Nisa, Copper : Makasih buat ucapan met ultah di MSNnya
Dede Rahmi + Tia + Wenceh: Makasih Smsnya
Bang Riza: Thanks buat bday phone callnya
Besplen: huwww this year special...my Masayu should be the first and the last one to greet my bday. So u cant be the last one
Anugerah: U forget. Underline forget.
Inad: U too.
Donceh: Gak aci loe pake acara lupa lupa.
Fadil, Olli dan Messa: Thanks Thanks..
Mum, Dad, Mbak: Makasih Ucapan selamat ultah sehabis sahurnya..
Ufa: Thanks for the e-greeting, Happy Birthday juga.
Arif: Thanks buat bday msg di fsnya.
Citta: Makasih testimonials nya. Happy Belated Birthday juga.
Ainun + Ria: Makasih Birthday Testimonialnya.
My Masayu: U are the first and the last. Both Indonesia and Singapore time. Love you..

- Thanks everyone.-

LET GO...

- and I thought that I was strong.
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong,
'cause I missed you. Yeah, I miss you
[ Stay, Lisa Loeb ] -

I do not know what's on Lisa Loeb head when she wrote this one of my all-time favourite songs . I do not know what's the story behind it. But I do see and hear some people experienced what Loeb tryin' to say in her song.

We have a tendency to take something for granted, right? I see many people take decision in a rush. They follow their heart blindly. And later, they regret it. More stupidly, they repeat this mistake over and over.

I consider the word "regret" as a taboo. For me, it's one of the worst feeling in the world, when your head is banging with questions, asking and thinking hundreds or thousands what-if scenarios. I hate those feeling. I've been there once and I never want to be in that position again.

Coba deh pikir satu keadaan seperti ini:
"Sebut saja A, seorang wanita yang sedang berpacaran dengan B, seorang lelaki (mungkin seorang wanita juga, silakan pilih gendernya sesuka anda). Then, C comes along. Pour his charm, take A's heart. A made up some reasons [1], then break up with B. Start a new relationship with C. When it did not work out, B regret her decision. And it's a pity since A found a better one already."

Gue yakin hampir semua yang mampir di blog ini pernah ngerasain at least ngeliat kejadian seperti ini once or twice. Gue cukup sering encounter this situation (bahkan involved di dalamnya). In fact, this weekend someone cries over the phone, talking bout this. And they always get the same answer from me [2].

Lucky for me, I have T. T once said, " Apapun keputusan loe, loe harus yakin 100%, jadi nantinya loe belajar dari pengalaman loe dan tidak menyesalinya". Dan I thank god, I listened to her. I never..I repeat... I never regret my decision. One of the reasons is because I made wrong decisions but not bad decisions [3]. Next reason, coz I always believe something good will happen if you try your best. So for whoever doubted me that I never regret my decision, I assure them, I never [4]. I just moved forward and never looked back.

Pesan saya buat mereka. Whatever in the past stay behind. Move forward. Just never repeat the same mistake or you much more stupid than a donkey [5]. If they're not end up with someone else, it's God's way to tell you that they're not the best for you. Just tell them:

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
[Goodbye to you, Michelle Branch]

[1]. Some of the reasons may be
(a) He definitely better than you in shallow point of view
(b) We did not work out and I need a break (Yes, coz I found someone more interesting)
(c) Your brother stinks. ( I made up this reason but may be true for some reason)
[2] Refer to next paragraph, and you can guess what I told them
[3] You made wrong decision when you have to make a decision. Otherwise, it was a bad decision.
[4] Trust me I don't. I swear in the name of my 4-year-old iRiver [6]
[5] Poor animal.
[6] I just tryin to found a way to include my mp3 player in the post.

- Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got
Till it’s gone
[Big Yellow Taxi, Joni Mitchell] -

I AM STILL NOT A MORNING PERSON

- My probation period is over, but I am still not a morning person -

Saya tidak memuja segarnya pagi
Saya tidak suka dengan embun pagi hari
Saya tidak mencintai bersihnya udara pagi
Saya tidak mengagumi biru langit ketika fajar...
Saya tidak terbiasa dengan bau kopi hitam pagi hari

Saya memuja misteriusnya malam
Saya memimpikan embun malam hari
Saya menanti pekatnya udara malam
Saya menyukai hitam sebagai sebuah penanda kesederhanaan
Saya menjilati tiap tetes capuccino malam saya..


- My company starts too early...pfuuuhhh. Btw, happy birthday, wa. Ivannanto, happy bday juga bro. Sorry telat ngucapinnya. -

MARHABAN YA RAMADHAN

- Catlio mengucapkan Selamat Menunaikan Ibadah Puasa bagi yang menjalankan dan memohon maaf lahir dan batin untuk semuanya. Yes, it's late. But late is always better than never -

Here it comes again. Ramadhan month. Sahur, Buka, Terawih, Lebaran. Di luar konsep keagamaan, Ramadhan sendiri memang unik [1]. For me personally, alasannya adalah karena Ramadhan bukan hanya sekedar holy month untuk beribadah, tetapi Ramadhan juga menciptakan sebuah culture tersendiri. Tumbuh di sebuah negara dengan mayoritas muslim, gw merasakan sekali kalau Ramadhan adalah bulan spesial. Buat gue, Ramadhan di Indonesia identik dengan beberapa hal:

• Ada orang keliling di kompleks gue buat teriak "saur…saur". Gue sendiri meragukan keefektifan teriakan dia. Mungkin lebih efektif mesjid deket rumah gue yang paka speaker full volume dan ngaji dari jam 3 pagi sampe subuh. Gue yakin baik yang puasa ataupun tidak pasti kebangun.
• Jam 5 sampe jam 6 sore biasanya banyak orang ngumpul di jalan ato lapangan, istilahnya ngabuburit. Dan ditandai juga dengan abang2 jualan yang semuanya kumpul di lapangan ato jalanan tersebut.
• Bokap gue yang sibuk baca koran dan berkomentar "wah mentang2 bulan puasa, harga barang2 naek nih…"
• Nyokap gue yang sejak jam 5 sore biasanya udah sibuk nyiapin makanan. Di rumah gue, hampir tidak ada yang namanya berbuka puasa secara sederhana. Nyokap gue akan menyiapkan makanan favorite kesukaan setiap anggota keluarga. Dan ini adalah salah satu alesan kenapa nyokap sayang sama gue, karena tiap hari gue akan minta menu yang sama. " indomie pake telor, terserah mau ditambahin apa" [2]
• Setiap pagi, kita akan bangun jam 3 cuma karena bokap memang sangat psycho dengan saur yang terburu-buru, so everyone better gets up early dan finish early. Dan Bokap selalu membangunkan gue terakhir, karena menurut dia gue adalah satu2nya anak bokap yang paling semangat makan saur.
• Abis maghrib, jalanan rame dengan anak2 kecil lari2an ato sambit2an pake kulkas. Ceritanya, mereka mau teraweh, walaupun kalo diperhatiin secara seksama mereka lebih mengganggu orang yang teraweh ketimbang sholat teraweh sendiri. Gue juga ngaku kalo gue termasuk dalam golongan mereka. Abis maghrib, kita akan ngumpul di satu rumah temen gue. Nah dari situ acara ditentukan. Biasanya berakhir dengan beberapa orang jadi wakil solat teraweh, beberapa memilih tetap nongkrong disitu, beberapa memilih pergi menyewa filem bokep. [3]
• Di masjid dekat rumah gue, setiap minggu pagi bulan Ramadhan ada acara kuliah subuh. Kultum namanya. Kuliah tujuh menit, tujuh puluh menit atau tujuh juta menit. Secara konsisten, gue akan datang ke kuliah subuh ini, biasanya gang gue complete buat acara yang satu ini, karena abis itu biasanya kita maen bola bareng sampe jam 10 dan tewas seharian di rumah.
• Ramadhan biasanya penuh dengan orang yang mengeluarkan joke " eh ntar ngabuburit sambil ngopi2 yuk" atau "eh ntar ngabuburit sambil makan somay di situ yuk?" pada siang hari. Buat semua orang yang bercanda seperti itu, gue hanya akan melirik dan melanjutkan menghabiskan cemilan gue.
• Ramadhan terakhir gue di Indonesia ditandai dengan teman sebangku gue memakai kaos dalem selama sebulan penuh. [4]
• Ramadhan juga memberi kesempatan gue untuk melihat Kris Dayanti, Reza, Lucy Rachmawaty dalam pakaian yang agak berbeda dari biasanya.

Well, for the last six years, I miss those Ramadhan. Yes, I still managed to go back and enjoy that type of Ramadhan for around a week the most. However, it ain't feel the same. Teman gue sudah banyak yang pindah domisilinya atau terlalu sibuk dengan pekerjaan. But well, I experienced another type of Ramadhan. Ramadhan di Singapore, jelas jauh berbeda. Ramadhan di Singapore tetap diwarnai gadis gadis berpakaian minim. Gak ada suara ngaji, gak ada orang bangunin saur. Tapi buat the minority, khususnya saya, Ramadhan tetap menghasilkan sebuah culture/lifestyle tersendiri.

• Gue punya kebiasaan keliling mesjid buat nyicipin makanan gratis. Mesjid Al-Falah Orchard tetep jadi favourite gue for their food quality. Though in some ocassions, Mesjid di Bukit Timah has a better food in terms of quality and quantity.
• Ramadhan menandai hibernasi secara gila2an. I sleep after subuh, wake up at the end of Zuhur time. And stay awake during the night. Most of the time, gue jadi weker untuk beberapa orang.
• Ramadhan menandai acara saur bareng bareng. Mulai dari sama rumet gue , besplen dan dede gue [5] , sama pesantren kilat gue [6].
• Ramadhan menandai banyaknya pengawet makanan instant yang masuk ke dalam tubuh gue. Gimana nggak? kalo gue makan cuma nugget, sosis, telor (satu2nya makanan sehat), and indomie.
• Ramadhan ditandai gue keliling Singapore buat cari makanan yang bisa mirip sama makanan Indonesia. Di Bazaar, Geylang dan daerah lainnya. But still, they did not taste the same.

In short, dimanapun kita berada, selama kita bisa nikmatin Ramadhan, gue yakin Ramadhan is special in some ways. Marhaban ya Ramadhan. Selamat menunaikan ibadah puasa, teman-teman.

[1] I am not talking bout Restu Ramadhan (mencegah loe mrasa ge-er man). But Ramadhan, month before Syawal.
[2] Gue bersyukur kalo nyokap gue gak pernah berkesperimen nambahin beras kencur, aer tajin ato sendal jepit ke dalam indomie gue.
[3] Sebajingan-bajingannya gue, gue gak masuk kategori ketiga ko. At least, bulan puasa ya puasa.
[4] Teman sebangku gue itu seorang cewe yang pake baju SMA sangat ketat dan tipis di kombine dengan bra yang warna-warni. So sebelum puasa, I make a deal with her. Gue meminta dia untuk tidak pake bra yang mencolok dan memakai kaos dalam, otherwise pahala puasa gue bisa angus. Dia setuju poin kedua tapi tidak poin pertama. Gue menerima pasrah walaupun I still could see clearly the colour of her bra everyday. In the final week, finally she agreed to use any colour other than black.
[5] Gue masih inget di saat kalian berdua berhalangan puasa, gue dan kolis kebingungan gimana masaknya.
[6] Certainly, this is the most fun sahur time in university. How are u brother puasa di Boston? Udah buka bareng sama the mighty mighty bostonness belom?