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CaTLio BLoG v5.0
in CaRTooN CHaRaCTeR eDiTioN

presents his all-time-favourite cartoon characters

 
  Saturday, December 22, 2007
TESTING MY DESTINY

Now waking up is hard to do
And sleeping is impossible too
Everything is reminding me of you
What can I do?

It’s not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break
[Better That We Break, Maroon 5]

I once wrote about destiny, claiming concept about our life is pre-destined as rubbish. Here I am, three years later, admitting that there is such a thing called destiny. Beberapa bulan belakangan, banyak kejadian dramatis di sekitar saya. Lucunya, setelah sabar menunggu dan melihat, kejadian-kejadian itu sebenarnya kepingan-kepingan puzzle yang setelah lengkap memberikan kita sebuah gambaran utuh tentang sesuatu. Gambar nya gak mesti indah dan cantik tapi selalu utuh, membantu kita mengerti akan banyak hal. Terlalu banyak kebetulan yang kalau menurut ilmu statistik bisa dianggap tidak ada karena nilai kumulatif probabilitasnya lebih kecil dari 0.05.

Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!
[Over You, Daughtry]

Banyak juga orang yang berbagi dengan saya, bercerita tentang puzzlenya yang sudah utuh. Biasanya mereka jadi lebih dewasa, lebih mengerti tentang hidup, lebih ikhlas dan lebih mengakui kuasa Allah swt. Kata-kata "Ya emang udah jalannya", jadi lebih sering keluar sebodoh apapun kedengarannya.

But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
[Apologize, One Republic Feat Timbaland]

Saya sendiri juga merasa terbantu dengan cerita2 ini. Juga tertampar. Karena saya suka lupa dengan konsep saya sendiri, bahwa kita boleh berusaha sekuat mungkin kenyataanya hasil akhir bukan punya kita. Setelah tertampar dengan keras, saya sadar bahwa ada hal-hal yang Allah sudah gariskan buat saya.

Twas more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer?
Do what you want to.

Maybe sometimes, we've got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.
[Put Your Records On, Corinne Bailey Rae]

Sebenarnya tanpa sadar saya sudah mengakui konsep takdir ini sejak lama. Banyak keputusan yang saya ambil dengan menguji takdir tadi. Bahasa kerennya "testing my destiny". Saya sadar ini adalah salah satu alasan kenapa saya jarang sekali menyesali keputusan saya. Karena menurut saya, salah atau betul ada bagian yang memang sudah digariskan. Dan sering sekali keputusan saya dibuat dengan menimbang dan menguji kebetulan2 yang terjadi.

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is. Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.
[Realize, Colbie Caillat]

Saya rasa sikap paling tepat adalah untuk mengakui adanya garis ketetapan dan juga pengaruh usaha. Pengakuan penuh terhadap takdir, bisa membuat kita malas, pengakuan penuh terhadap usaha kita sendiri, bisa membuat kita takabur dan hancur ketika gagal. In the end, it is about balance.

So far away from where you are
Standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here
[From Where You Are, Lifehouse]

- One day, I woke up and suddenly Allah showed me all the pieces of the puzzle. I smiled knowing that destiny is taking its place and I did not need to test it anymore. The puzzle was completed as it was started way before I knew it. Thank You-

Catlio
Bukit Gombak
posted by CaTLio @ 9:43 PM 0 comments


Saturday, December 15, 2007
LET ME REPEAT ONE MORE TIME

" Hari ini sayang saya selesai buat kamu. Gak saya ikhlasin tiap detik waktu yang saya habiskan untuk mengisi applikasi exchange kamu juga mengetik report kamu. Apalagi sampai kena warning letter dari perusahaan saya, karena kamu minta saya mengedit report kamu saat saya bekerja. Tiap sen uang yang dipakai untuk beli oleh2 yang kamu minta dan pulsa telpon. Tiap tetes keringat yang keluar untuk berusaha membuat kamu senang. Dan tiap doa yang saya panjatkan buat kamu. In one way or another, semua itu akan diambil dari kamu. Semua kebaikan itu akan hilang dari kamu.

You lie to me and there is no guarantee you do not lie about f*cking random guys when you are with me. Any guy in your university, any guy in Europe, or the one you just met. I won't hear what you are saying. I won't believe if you say you are very faithful when you are with me. The fact is you are so particular about the date when you broke up with me. You clearly lied when you say you are alone while actually you are with someone. I do not care if you want to teach him or you want to f*ck him afterwards. Btw, my friend just told me she saw you with someone else.

And let me repeat five times what you want to hear:
You are a f*ckin LIAR and you f*ckin used me.
You are a f*ckin LIAR and you f*ckin used me.
You are a f*ckin LIAR and you f*ckin used me.
You are a f*ckin LIAR and you f*ckin used me.
You are a f*ckin LIAR and you f*ckin used me.

Next time you see me, forget about saying 'hi'. I am a stranger for you and you are a stranger for me.

Bye. "

- And my balance dropped $1.80. It's ok. For one last time. -
posted by CaTLio @ 3:14 PM 3 comments


Tuesday, December 11, 2007
MUTUAL RESPECT

- They say you do not know what you have till it's gone. But, do you know what you don't have until you have it? -

Hari ini saya diingatkan oleh seorang wanita [1] tentang sebuah perasaan yang saya punya beberapa tahun lalu dan saya tidak punya dua tahun belakangan ini. Sebuah perasaan hormat karena dihargai dan dihormati. Saya tidak pernah sadar tentang hilangnya perasaan itu. Tapi hari ini rasa nyaman, rasa senang itu ada lagi.

Di perjalanan pulang, bayangan dua orang yang pernah sangat baik dengan saya datang. Sampai di rumah saya mendoakan mereka ketika sholat isya. Juga mendoakan mereka yang lain. Mereka yang menghargai saya bahkan saat saya belum punya sesuatu yang bisa jadi identitas saya. Saya ingat seorang ayah mengantarkan pulang saya, yang laki-laki, karena pergi keluar dengan anaknya terlalu malam. Saya ingat bagaimana seorang kakak kawan baik saya bisa begitu ramah kepada saya. Saya ingat bagaimana seorang ibu sangat berterima kasih kepada saya karena dibantu mencari anaknya yang gak bisa dihubungi.

Hangatnya kata-kata seorang ibu, ramahnya senyuman seorang ibu, cairnya suasana sejak detik pertama. I was mesmerized. I was blinded for all this time.

- *Sigh. My mom is right. Well, she is always right. Saya ikhlas nerima semua yang mum doakan untuk saya-

[1] Gak usah gosip macem2, wanita ini satu taun lebih muda dari nyokap gue!
posted by CaTLio @ 10:58 PM 1 comments


 
.me
Extremely Lazy + Fat + Ambitious + Cynical + Food Lovers + Daydreamer + Bratty + Disruptive
.them
adhitya + adih + afo + amel + anes + arum + ayunilam + bobu + blub + cay + cica + cita + dena + deu + dita + dida + dilla + dini + Dini[S] + dono + edo + etu + fadil + fajar + fina + genny + hanan + imesh + intansky + ite + indi dan rani + larissa + lestia + manda + muna + nauval + nina + otty + okke + rima + sulis + sweeney + tono + toto + tyta + utet + wawa + yasrof
.past
02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003
03/01/2003 - 04/01/2003
04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003
05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003
06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003
07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009
02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010
.canvas


Sunrise @ East Coast
photograph by Catlio

.recent
THE END OF LAKESIDE, GOMBAK AND CCK UNITED
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IDEAL WORLD
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FIX YOU
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MENGEJAR MATAHARI
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AKU MILIKMU - IWAN FALS
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IT"S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT US
----------
TENTANG MEMINTA DAN MEMBERI MAAF
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CR7 and Counter Offer
----------
TRUTH and TRUST
----------
LET THEM LEARN
----------