FRIENDSHIP IS OVERRATED... SOMETIMES

- Don't be too negative, focus on the last word -

Few weeks back, I watched Sandler's latest movie," I Will Pronounce You Chuck & Larry". The story is about two straight best friend having a gay marriage just to help each other. It's kinda inspiring how the movie depicts what a best friend would do for you. "Whatever, Whenever" [1], that's the rules.

Few years back, I was chatting with someone, when she mentioned about the first part of the above title. She told me that sometime someone say we are their best friends. No problem with that. But when other things comes out our way, "best friends" just mere words. Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Husband, Wife or Kids, then you start to question what best friends really mean. Someone to talk to or to catch up with?

Cukup sinis kedengarannya, tapi saya tidak bisa menolak kebenaran statement tersebut. Friends are important. Tapi kita punya banyak sekali komitmen dalam hidup kita yang bisa menurunkan pentingnya arti teman itu. Dan saya sendiri mengakui kalau saya adalah seseorang yang seringkali mempertanyakan arti teman itu.

Guess after two years, I just realized sometime looking for a friend is just like looking for a partner for life. You either share the same value of friendship or you just lucky enough to be in the same situation with your best friend. I notice that few friends that called each other best friend understands each other needs very well. Mereka tau persis sebanyak apa komitmen yang bisa mereka berikan untuk teman baik mereka. Juga, mereka memberi pengertian atau mengerti dengan baik ekspektasi teman-teman mereka. I, myself, lucky enough to find a few, (Dede, Nugrah [2]) and I treasure them the most.

You can also be in the same situation with your best friend. In the same class, same school, same course or maybe facing the same situation. You face the long distance relationship [3], open relationships, or maybe wedding cancellation together. Gampang aja, kita bisa merasakan situasi temen kita. Kita bisa memberi nasehat yang memang mereka mau dengar, bisa memberikan simpati yang cukup atau meng-console dengan cara yang tepat.

I guess the most important thing adalah untuk tidak mudah tertipu dengan kata-kata atau janji-janji manis seseorang ketika seorang teman mengatakan bahwa kita adalah teman sehidup-semati, kita adalah teman terbaik mereka atau kita adalah keluarga mereka. Kata seorang teman saya, "Janji dan kata2… tak perlu diumbar. Menyakiti hati kalau tidak ditepati." Throughout the years, gue melihat dengan mata gue sendiri siapa yang tidak mengucapkan kata-kata dan menolong saya dengan tangan mereka sendiri. Dan saya juga melihat mereka yang menghibur saya dengan kata-katanya hanya untuk dilupakan di kemudian hari. I call the former as friends and the latter as artificials.

Catlio
Sofa Biru

[1] Gue rasa mereka tidak menambahkan kata-kata Wherever supaya tidak dikira mencontoh Shakira.

[2] Terima Kasih smsnya. Masih perhatian juga sama gue. Hhuhuhu. Btw, ultah gw tanggal 21 Oktober bukan 21 September, just in case you're still puzzled. Cepet balik sini, gak penting de whether I am your biggest reason to come back to Singapore . Huehuahauhau I am still laugh at this old joke.

[3] Dil, keyword: pulang!